I
was a young mother with three small kids, my husband was abusing drugs and
without knowing what I was getting into I started using with him. My life began
to spiral downward. We lost our housing and so much more.
We stayed in every motel room in Berkeley, some in Oakland, some in El Cerrito,
when we did not have motel money; we stayed in our car, with friends, with
relatives. We did not have a place we called home. Everyday we walked many
blocks to the local church to feed the kids, we sat in parks all day because
there was no where else to go during the day.
I was never at peace; depression and mental exhaustion was a way
of life. When we found a place for the night, the next question was always, what
about tomorrow? One of the worst nights I had was staying up all night in a
roach infested motel, watching over my toddlers as they slept ready to swipe
away the bugs if they got too close. We were homeless for four years; we had a
lot of really bad nights. My children were ages 6, 5, 3. Thankfully they were
too small to remember how much we suffered, but I will never forget.
One day, when we were completely out of resources, we ended up at the BOSS
Harrison House Emergency shelter. For the first time in years, my kids had a
place to stay. We stayed with BOSS for almost two years; I took advantage of
everything, all the help and love the staff was willing to give. The kids and I
flourished; more than giving us a place to stay, they gave us back our lives,
our sanity, our self-worth. It took a long time but I began to feel whole again.
Finally, with the help of section 8, we got a 3 bedroom house in Oakland. The
kids had space to run around in, a backyard, a school around the corner, and
McDonald's two blocks away. They were very happy. Ok, the neighborhood was not
all that great, but as long as we paid the rent we could stay. I made sure of
that. We have had some difficult times since then, but nothing that would put us
back out on the streets again, not even close.
I'm working for BOSS now. I'm helping families who were in the same position.
It's my turn to pass out hope. One of the things I learned is that your mind
gets in the way first, if you don't believe you can have better, you never will.
I
was exhausted when I was out there; it was hard to see the light at the end of
tunnel. I let the Harrison House case managers see the light for me until I can
see it for myself. If you are homeless right now, get to a safe place, if that
safe place turns out to be not so safe, get to another, try BOSS, they're good
people.
What ever you do, don't give up. You and your kids deserve better, you deserve
a place to stay, food on your table, a good school for your kids to go to. You
deserve to laugh and feel at peace.
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