Anonymous 1

I was in a head-on collision when I was 15, had major head trauma – was in a wheelchair for 6 months, gained 60 lbs. My dad was murdered when I was 16. My mother took me to the doctor at 16 when I was prescribed diet pills. I became dependent on pills to function. I took these pills for a year and a half  and quickly lost excess weight. I was unable to perform basic daily functions without these pills.

After using these for a year and half, the doctor told me I was at a normal weight. I could not wake up without these pills, brush my teeth, or go to school. So I took matters into my own hands, illegally attaining diet pills at any cost. My addiction continued for 37 years during which I married my college sweetheart and had two beautiful children.

I accepted that I was condemned to addiction, I started hearing voices and I wasn’t happy not high. My husband became addicted, got busted and we lost everything. I moved to my mom’s house with my two children, ages 2 and 5.

I continued to rely on drugs to cope. I still thought no one knew my secret. After 37 years of drug abuse, my children, ages 27 and 24, took me to rehab. I gave up my apartment, put everything I had in storage and put my cat to sleep. I went into detox and then residential rehab. I had no expectations other than to stop the pain. High or not, I felt like a walking circus of pain.

I finished rehab, one and half months without speed.  From there I stayed in two local shelters, taking advantage of out patient rehab, attending meetings daily. From there I was lucky enough to get into transitional housing with BOSS. I am also an artist and can honestly trace my success and recovery looking at my drawings.

I am in awe of life without drugs, self-discovery continues to thrill me. I attend meetings on site here daily as well as outside meetings. I see a therapist weekly, had some medical issues but continue to enjoy every minute of sobriety even painful ones.

I am 54 years old and I have hope for a great future. I was a prisoner of my addiction. I now continue to experience feelings and accomplishments, I never considered possible.

I am proof even after 37 years of addiction I have a future.

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