Sandra Weary

I became homeless after I got out of prison from doing a 8-9 year sentence. For 10 years before that I was in an abusive relationship, my common-law husband was beating on me and accusing me of being with other men. There was a lot of drugs and alcohol and it was a very miserable time in my life. I have to live day to day with it, and it haunts me, because someone lost their life. It was either me or him that night.

When I was with my family I had mixed feelings because of how prison life was. I went to a program and went to school, we had concerts and different little activities I did not really do too much because I was on lock down. I was really stressed and suicidal.

After I was released, I was staying with my family and they did not approve of a parole office coming to the home and the message got out that I was arrested in 1994 for voluntary man-slaughter. I was shunned from my family.

My family was never exposed to a criminal lifestyle. My parole officer came to the house with a gun because I was high risk and he would sit outside and look around and made my mother nervous, she thought he was casing the place. The parole officer tried to explain the parole system to my mother, but it did not work, she put me out anyway.

I have been trying to make it. I have a mental problem; I have been trying to figure how to pay bills and how to make it because the rent is so high.

It was a shock when I got out, the look of money had changed, the signs the changed, Oakland had changed, I felt like a fish out of water. There was no one to help me and I only received $200 of gate money. That did not last long.

After I moved out, my mother moved away with my 13 year old son and I have had no contact since then. I also have an 18 year old daughter that I am very worried about, friends have been telling me that she is on drugs and is now in trouble with the law.

If I did not have my medication, I would probably be in John George from stress and worry. South County has helped me with counseling and to find shelter, a place to stay. Its good to talk with someone about the past, just to get it out. I relive a lot in my mind.

To other women in abusive situations, please get help and get up out of the relationship because it’s not worth doing life in prison behind taking someone’s life and trying to protect yourself.

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